Board Stiff: No Gomers

People who don’t snowboard think of the sport as a “winter” thing. And who can blame them? During the winter, they’re inundated with television commercials for soft drinks, chewing gum and sportswear that incorporate one shot or other of some very cool-looking snow rider catching some massive air or carving through waist-deep powder. But those who ride *really* know the truth: snowboarding is an all-year religion that requires constant scholarship and study, even during those evil summer months.

Knowing this, reviewguys.com has decided to set staff shredder Kyle Dawkins the task of sniffing out the latest and greatest things that every boarder should be aware of. The ultimate, and (yes!) lofty, aim of this series of reviews is to proselytize shamelessly in an effort to make people see the Higher Path, and to strengthen the faith and courage of current devotees.

So, even though the season here may be half over, it’s going to be winter Down Under soon, and the slopes of the Southern Alps, Snowy Mountains and the Andes will once again become a place of worship.

And our column, like the Gutenberg Bible, will be there to spread the word.

Keep the Faith.

Part One :: No Gomers

It was a beautiful spring day in April, 1999. It was probably going to be the last day of the season for me, so I wanted to make it a good one. The sun was softening up what remained of the snow covering at Quebec’s Mont Tremblant ski resort and there were no long queues at the lifts. It made for a perfect day of riding.

Except that I didn’t make it through the whole day because on the third or fourth run down, I collided with a small (skiing!) child, exploded into a mass of limbs and snow, and ended up with a fractured wrist. To tell you the truth, I was far more concerned about the fact the my season had just ended than the pain in my wrist; but as my friends pointed out, better at the end of the season than the beginning.

Too true.

Wrist injuries make up more than 23% of snowboarding injuries, according to the American Academy of Family Physicians, making them the most common kinds of injury to befall the hapless snowboarder. This comes as no surprise when one considers the physics of the sport; the wrists are the most obvious things to use when you’re face-planting at high speed into sheer ice. Most riders know the incredible pain, say, of falling backwards and landing on a thumb, bending it all the way backwards with a few hundred pounds of force. Nevertheless, these injuries are often considered merely a hazard of the sport and most snowboarders are willing to take their chances.

But I’ve already made that mistake, which is why I went looking for decent wrist armour.

“Seek, and ye shall find,” as they say. An enterprising little company in Ottawa known as Glomming Gear has produced the ideal wrist guards for the conscientious snowboarder. These wrist guards, known as “No Gomers”, are specifically designed by snowboarders for snowboarders, and differ from conventional wrist guards in three fundamental ways:

Whereas wrist guards that you might wear roller-blading or skateboarding are worn on the front of the wrist and run from the palm to mid-forearm, the “No Gomers” have two hard plastic plates, joined by velcro straps, that protect both sides of the wrist.
The plate that covers the front of the wrist also extends up to protect the thumb from the notorious “thumb tweak” fall that hurts like hell on earth.
The “No Gomers” are worn on the outside of the gloves, making them easy to put on and take off.

The basic idea of the two plates is to protect the bones in the wrist and thumb from impact and to distribute the force of a fall across a wider area. From the Glomming Gear website:

“The No Gomer protects from common wrist and thumb injuries by:

• restricting wrist and thumb hypermobility,
• transferring impact loads away from the joints, and
• by dispersing impacts across a large surface area. At the same time, hand dexterity is preserved for zippers, etc.”

I have used No Gomers for almost twenty days of riding this season so far, and I’m happy to report no injuries. It’s hard to say whether or not the No Gomers have contributed to this absence of injury, but I am inclined to think that I would probably have done myself more wrist damage had I not been wearing them. According to Glomming Gear, no one who has started using the No Gomers has gone on to injure their wrists.

I’ve also found that wearing the No Gomers has made me more aware of my wrists and the need to protect them, and I find that when I do fall, I am much more conscious of what I am falling on and where my weight is, resulting in a safer, less painful wipeout. That alone is reason enough to use them.

Aside from the utility of the No Gomers, how do they look? After all, snowboarding is probably the most fashion-conscious sport ever, and the last thing you want is to look like some ski-bunny or grom while you’re shredding like a pro, right? Fortunately, the No Gomers only serve to make you look cooler. Wearing these things is the snowboarding equivalent of Jean-Luc Picard’s Borg outfit: guaranteed to make people respect you.

My only complaints? Well, they’re yet another piece of gear to carry around and lose. Perhaps the Glomming Gear boys could strike up a relationship with a glove and mitt company, and produce some riding gloves that incorporate the No Gomers so they’d be more convenient. Also, after purchasing some beautiful Burton riding mitts complete with a soft, chamois thumb for gently wiping the snot off my nose while riding, I was disgruntled to discover that I couldn’t use the wipers because the No Gomers covered them up. Another suggestion to the Glomming Gear boys would be to add a nice, soft snot cover on the thumb plate. (Hey, at least I admit it).

Although nothing beats sensible riding and a few lessons from an instructor on ‘how to fall’, it doesn’t hurt to wear these gems and at such a great price, there’s really no excuse. So when you’re out there on your plank, be a No Gomer.