Fuck. No seriously, fuck. Nothing annoys me more than a delayed flight. I don‘t know what it is. Maybe the fact that you‘re just stuck there with nothing to do, a potential charge of $8 for 15 minutes of Wi-Fi access and you can‘t seem to connect anyway. I don‘t see any tech support people around. So I thought I‘d review the waiting. Ah, the waiting.
I‘m sitting in Logan Airport in Boston and I want to get home. It‘s not that I don‘t like Boston. A great town. Charming, nice architecture, plenty of Dunkin Donuts and TONS of Irish Pubs (mmm Sam Adams). And there was a chain called “Finagle a Bagel”? which I really wanted to try just ”˜cause I love the name, but none of them were open (never stay in the financial district on a Saturday…). But once you‘re in an airport, you just want to get home; you‘re not really enjoying the city anymore.
I actually love airports. The hustle and bustle, the people, Starbucks everywhere, the beautiful ballet of planes flying in and out. But about a half hour ago as I sat here at gate B3 they made an announcement that every traveler dreads: “for those passengers flying on Air Canada Flight 7683 to Montreal, we regret to report that the flight is delayed approximately one hour… (pause)… (humbly and quietly) we‘re sorry for the inconvenience.”?
AAAUUUUGGHHHH. So annoying. Now we wait. And you just know that one hour may not be the end of it. You are at their mercy. I still don‘t see the plane coming in. Who knows if I‘ll ever get out of this place.
I hate waiting generally. But that‘s for another review. This is about airports. I guess an hour in the grand scheme of the cosmos really isn‘t much, but I‘m truly not happy just sitting here. And an hour doesn‘t really compare to the epic 12 hour wait a group of us once had as we waited to go to Cuba (say it with me gang ”“ Skyyy-SERVICE!!!).
There is some weird shit going on while I wait. I have just heard for approximately the 10th time the announcement that “there are defibrillators located approximately every 100 metres”? in Logan Airport. WTF??? Defibrillators? And the general public is supposed to use them in case of a heart attack? What kind of airport is this? I‘m freaking out, Jerry. I may need one of those defibrillators soon.
So why if I hate the waiting so much did I not give this review a zero? There is this cute brunette to my left who I caught looking at me a couple of times. I think I‘ll go talk to her. I‘m pretty sure I‘ve got a solid opening line: “Doesn‘t waiting in airports suck?”?